Barriers that prevent victims from leaving their abuser, with Reflection on Biblical Principle on abuse and how to deal with an abuser and seek help from abuse

Beloved, seek help and do not be The victim of domestic violence that is trapped or faces barriers that prevent them from leaving their abuser, nor seeking redress and has led many stabbed and killed. These barriers are 

- Fear of physical harm, threats, harassment, making abuser angrier, living alone or being alone, losing children, losing house or car, others will blame you, the unknown, financial problems without him, a change in standard of living, deportation, no one believes you,the court system. 
- Love ....Still loves the abuser, Commitment to the relationship, Sex, affection, and kindness during non violence times, Companionship, History together, Hope of improvement or change, Emotional,Low self-esteem, emotionally exhausted
Loneliness, Guilt, Self-blame for the abuse, Feeling like a failure, Feeling defective
Feeling unwanted by others
- Change- Not wanting a divorce, to be a single parent, to look for someone else, to leave pets, to grieve, to start over, to change life style, to lose his family & to be excluded from social functions
- Abuser Uses mind games, crying, threats of suicide, his power and his family's power, Mr. Nice Guy image, unfulfilled promises, apologies, Children, Pressure from children who want their dad, Believes it is best for children, Custody issues, Need childcare, Support, Nowhere to go, Unaware help is available, No support system
Isolated from support, Needs, Need insurance, Need financial support, Have health/disability issues
- More barrier like
Not identifying abuse
Normalize abusive behaviors
Abusive cycle is familiar
Others accept violence as okay
Pressure from others
Preserve abusers reputation
Religious beliefs
Social status
Having hopes and dreams
Not Knowing its okay to leave
Do not be a victim either way( Murdered /Murderer) as in the link stories below :
A Deputy Attorney General Colleen Norris said " Adebamiro wanted to end the marriage, but was stuck between two cultures and two generations. One side was telling him to get a divorce. The other pushed him to stick it out.The ensuing drama was dizzying. There were trips back and forth to Nigeria. Children left with a nanny. And a post-nuptial agreement aimed at stopping the chaos".Read more at

"Nigerian men in the United States have gone berserk with rampant killing of their wives over disappointing and humiliation they suffer from NIgeria wives imported to America.The men who often sponsored their wives to nursing schools for which the women earn fat salaries after graduation cause ruckus between the couple which often end in divorce resulting into husbands giving up their life property and earnings according to the US law." [By Favour Nnabugwu - Vanguard Reporter]Read more

Please help yourself and your loved ones by seeking counsel as if any form of abuse is not redressed, the next step of the abuser is detrimental psychologically or physically in long term to your life and children, which just might be too late ..... Seek help from organisations like RAP .... "Changing lives for good ".......Let's Reflect on Biblical Principle on abuse and how to deal with an abuser and seek help from abuse

Psalms 9:9 The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.

Psalms 103:6 The LORD executeth righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed.

As the above verses indicate, we, today, are encouraged to show a abusive Brother or Sister the error of their ways. In the Old Testament, those who had the position of being the spiritual guides of the God's people likewise had an obligation to warn those who were doing wrong of the consequences that would ensue if they did not change their ways. The words are non-compromising:
Ezekiel 3:17-19 Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel: therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me.
When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand.Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.

The manner in which the abuser is to be admonished (i.e. the spirit in which to approach him/her) and is not to condemn the person - whom Christ has called - but to condemn the actions, and try to encourage recognition of the sin, repentance and a change in ways:
2 Thessalonians 3:15 Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

Jesus laid out a clear and simple procedure to follow in the event of dealing with an erring brother (or sister!):
Mat. 18:15-17 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

Those, who after several admonishings still stubbornly refuse to change their ways, are to be 'marked' or 'put away' - they are to be 'shamed' to the end that they realise the seriousness of their sin and repent:
1 Corinthians 5:9-13 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

2 Thessalonians 3:6 Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.

2 Thessalonians 3:14,15 And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.
Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

Shalom with Love .......Rev Sophy Wahab(c) 01/06/17